I’ve always been a fan of lube, but until now, I’ve never really been a hardcore lube advocate. For years, I’ve kept a generous stash of KY in my underwear drawer for emergency purposes, and dive in when necessary. As a healthy, sexually active 27-year-old, I don’t usually have problems getting wet down there, but I do sometimes struggle with staying wet down there. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been lucky enough to regularly experience multiple orgasms during intercourse. But, like clockwork, once I have that first orgasm, my lady dam starts to dry up.
Even with sexual partners I’m very comfortable with, I’ve always felt a wee bit embarrassed reaching for the lube when I do need some extra wetness. (I honestly think it has something to do with the scene in “Superbad,” where they say something to the effect of how lube is for “dried up old ladies”). Obviously, there are a few scenarios where a little lube makes all the difference, and for me, might seem more “acceptable” to my partners: marathon sex, unexpected quickies and butt stuff, to name a few. But when it comes to your average roll around the hay, I usually pass.
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Recently, I was getting it on with my dude and I was VERY wet, so wet that his penis almost slipped into my asshole at one point, but that’s neither here nor there. After changing up our positions a few times, I came hard and quickly. Eager for him to come (and for me to come again), we kept going. After another ten minutes or so, I felt the dryness sneaking up on me like it usually does. I was still incredibly turned on and eager for more, but my body wasn’t cooperating. He noticed it, too.
“Want to get some lube?” he suggested.
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I was hesitant at first, but eventually obliged. I pumped a few squirts onto my hand, rubbed it on both of us and we went back to work. It didn’t take long for us each to finish, and this time, we finished in a pool of sticky, soaking wet sheets. To say the lube helped was an understatement.
Fast forward 24 hours: I woke up in the morning with a sharp, burning pain, almost like that of a paper cut, on the inside of my vaginal wall. Having no idea what the hell happened since I hadn’t been in pain for almost an entire day after sex, I grabbed a mirror, spread my vulva and got a good look inside. Inside my vagina on the right hand side, I saw what I can only describe as a raw, red “raspberry.” There was no blood, but there was a very obvious tear or SOMETHING. Paranoid that it might be herpes or an STI (pretty confident that it wasn’t because 1) we used a condom and 2) my partner and I are monogamous), I wanted to get checked anyway. Always, ALWAYS get checked anyway.
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I booked it to the gynecologist that afternoon and described my ailment before taking my place in the stirrups.
“Oh, yes. That’s an abrasion from sex,” she told me carefully prodding the raw spot. “It’s basically the equivalent of scraping your knee on pavement, but on your vagina.”
Obviously confused, I asked how the hell something like that happens.
“Usually it’s from either rough sex or not enough lubrication,” she told me. “You might start out wet, but over the course of the intercourse, your fluid levels might change. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and totally normal. It’s nothing a little bit of lube can’t solve.”
She suggested I keep a bottle of lube near my bed and always start with a drop or two, just to make things easier. Knowing my body and that I have a tendency to dry up after orgasm, I should add some more down there if I plan on continuing.
Source: Shape Magazine
The area was negative for STDs and STIs, as suspected, and the burning pain lasted for another two days. Every time my urine touched the area, it was like someone was actually giving me a paper cut up inside my vagina. Every time my underwear started to ride up and my jeans touched me, I winced in pain. It was not fun. From now on, I plan on using lube like my life depends on it. I have no shame, no qualms, and certainly don’t give a shit about adding some extra glide down there. As a good friend of mine once said, “Show me a person who likes dry sex, and I’ll show you a liar.”
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