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When a therapist hits you with a zinger, it’s the kind of thing that stays with your forever. Best case scenario: it’s sage wisdom or advice that changes your life. Worst case scenario: it’s so wildly offensive or off-the mark that you know you have to dump your shrink. After the jump, I canvased Frisky staffers and friends for their therapists’ very best and worst one-liners. Share yours in the comments!
The Best:
- “Get a day planner, listen to these existential philosophy CDs and I’ll see you next week.”
- “Your charm and intelligence will get you nowhere with me, so check it at the door.”
- “Ride the question.”
- In response to being embarrassed by a night of drunken sex: “He’s not thinking about you, he’s probably too consumed by being embarrassed by his own behavior.”
- “Focusing on what another person might be thinking/doing/feeling takes you out of the present moment and away from what’s more important; how you’re feeling/thinking/doing.”
- “You can’t change another person, only how you react to them.”
- “Yoga will help calm your OCD/ADD mind.”
- “You might feel trapped or stuck in a situation but you never really are. Even concrete can be broken.”
- “You can’t take care of other people if you don’t take care of yourself first.”
- “Control is always an illusion.”
- “You can’t take other people’s behavior personally.”
The Worst:
- “Maybe you could be a little less intense.”
- When I said my boyfriend wanted to have more sex than me: “Well, men just like sex more than women do. You’ll have to compromise.”
- In response to saying I was bored with my life: “Don’t you think that only boring people get bored?”
- The day my boyfriend and I broke up: “Go out and flirt with someone else.”
- “Try not to cry as much.”
- “Wow, you’re pretty fucked up.”
- “Men and women are wired differently, so of course your boyfriend thinks that.”
- In response to saying I had body image issues: “Just stop eating, like me.”
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