He does not want to sleep with me. It’s been three weeks and nothing. Not just nothing—I mean the complete absence of sexuality in an awkward, platonic way. We go out to dinner several nights a week and we kiss, hug, and hold hands in public. I’ve met most of his friends at this point […]
When I was offered the opportunity to be one of “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelorettes” in a major local magazine, I laughed out loud. “There’s no way I will ever meet a guy that way,” I complained to my friends. “Why even bother? I already meet tons of guys. They just all suck. Plus, I’m […]
It will never get worse than this. I’m thinking that to myself as I rock back and forth on a toilet in a noisy bar. It’s Saturday night, a table full of my friends is wondering where I ran off to, and I have a potential date/booty call in a couple of hours. I’m sweating, […]
I was 17 years old and sitting in a dimly lit, poorly ventilated doctor’s office next to an incredibly nervous mother. I never imagined that the following six simple words would change my life forever: “You have spots on your brain.” Excuse me? What does that even mean? I thought. Ten years later, I still question […]
I think we can all agree that the internet has made it much, much harder to get over a breakup. Sure, you may have successfully erased his number from your phone, used his junior high football T-shirt as a rag, put away all your couple photos, ordered him never to call again, and cursed him […]
A few years ago, I slept with your husband. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t some kind of an apology. Nor is it an explanation. And, trust me, I’m not looking for your forgiveness. Because here’s the thing. All these years later, you don’t even know. Or at least I don’t think you do. Sometimes I […]
Women do a lot of silly things to try to impress men; I know this, because men do a lot of ridiculous things to impress women, too. It’s like the circle of life, only it ends with quiet sobbing into a pillow. The elements of sexual attraction aren’t too complex. Though, even accepted societal norms […]
A couple weeks ago Amelia sent me this gorgeous picture of a tunnel of Wisteria vines in Japan, and it immediately filled me with a sense of wonder and tranquility. I keep going back to look at it whenever I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed (which has been pretty often lately), and it got me thinking […]
Porn has played a starring role in my two most recent relationships—but not in the way you might expect. I’ve been reviewing adult films for more than a decade. Over the course of those 10 years I’ve watched more than 500 porn movies, for fun and profit. OK, mostly for profit. My porn writing career […]
