Like any good self-respecting alternative girl in her teens, I was pretty sure I had magic powers. I don’t wanna brag, but I have always been into weird hippie nonsense and have desperately wanted to live inside The Craft and attend a real-life Hogwarts (seriously, can the universe help make that happen?) for as long as I can remember. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you that I recently tried a bunch of witch kits and now I’m scaring all my friends with my magnificent powers.
It’s not that I didn’t have powers before. I was a teen with dark hair, which obviously equals powers. I even had a psychic tell me one time that I was a witch in a past life and I looked at her like, “Past life? Please. And present, am I right?” And then I waited for a high five that never came.
What witchcraft actually “means” to any one person really varies. To some, it might mean elaborate cauldron recipes and dancing naked by the full moon in an effort to make crops grow. To others, it might mean doing super dark and evil shit that scares me even when I think about it. To most people though, it tends to mean “something that is not real and is total bullshit.” And that’s fine.
But to me, it just means that I love crystals and incense and meditation and I’m obsessed with Halloween. That’s pretty much the long and short of it. So when I heard that more and more companies are offering witch kits, many of which are subscription based (see also: witch stuff coming in the mail every month, holy crap, how fun), I was so ready to try them out.
I tried out three to start with: Enchanted Crystal, Little Spell Kits, and Sabbat Box.
Enchanted Crystal is a subscription box that sends you a big box of crystals every month, along with a grid I don’t entirely understand. Am I supposed to understand it? I have no fucking clue. Am I supposed to intuitively know where to place these crystals? Maybe? Is this grid a test to see if I’m a good enough witch? I’m not sure, but I am sure that I just saw a ghost out of the corner of my eye and it turned out to be my office wall, but it also could have been a ghost. Just so you know. Anyway, the point is I’m scared, but also serene because I can haz witchcraft. I can haz.
A standard subscription box is $28 every month, and the premium box (which comes with a few more crystals, some of them larger than the standard box crystals) is $58 a month. Both are billed month-to-month so if you’re all crystall-ed out one month, that’s fine.
The crystals were all individually labeled, which helped when I went to google them on the internets and find out what the shit I was even looking at. At the end of the day, a lot of crystals look exactly the same and you have no idea what you’re dealing with. A lot of people believe you should just hold crystals and feel whatever you feel or don’t feel and let that be that. But as someone who genuinely loves crystals, I like knowing what they mean and what their ~*believed purpose*~ is.
Overall, this box was just crystals. That doesn’t make it bad, because crystals in and of themselves are beautiful and mystical and the subject of many a Stevie Nicks song. That said though, this box should be called “Just Crystals: We’re Serious,” because it wasn’t a box that was like “and here’s how to do a spell with these!” or something. It was just some crystals and a cloth grid that I still do not for the life of me know what I’m supposed to do with. Maybe it’s just like a tarp they hang out on? A crystal tarp? Anyway, these crystals now surround my body while I sleep, so that’s chill.
Little Spell Kits
Little Spell Kits makes just that: little spell kits. These boxes aren’t subscription based like the other two, and are simply cool little kits you can buy that have everything you need in them to make whatever kind of spell you want to make. The one I chose was called “Find A Little Love” because who doesn’t want that? My kit included gloves, incense, a glass cup, a candle, some oil, and some glitter. Before I could do my spell, I had to fill out a long questionnaire about what I really wanted out of a relationship and what I loved about myself, and all this other kind of fun, albeit very emotionally laborious stuff. Once I did all of that (that’s like a whole other essay, tbh), I was ready to massage the oil and glitter into my candle and perform the ritual. Honestly, it was super fun and awesome because I love rituals of any kind. Seriously, invite me to your Jewish holiday festivities and I will be so happy. Love. So much love.
Anyway, I guess that spell is in progress and the next time you see me I’ll be like crazy in love with the very specific person I described to myself while rubbing oil on a candle in a vaguely sexual way. And that’s just nice to know.
I’m not even gonna pretend like the Sabbat Box wasn’t my favorite one, hands down, by far. That’s not to knock the other ones in the least, it just depends what you want out of a kit. If all you need are new crystals every month, seriously, Enchanted Crystal was so cool! The coolest. And if you’re just in need of the cutest little spell kit you ever did see, Little Spell Kits has you so freaking covered. But for me personally, I wanted a veritable tasting platter of all things related to the craft in general and Sabbat Box was like, “Oh, you got it!”
When I opened up this box, I immediately told my coworker Lauren, “Ooo, it even smells like witch stuff!” and she replied, “It just smells like fall potpourri,” so I guess that’s what I think witch stuff smells like. Fine.
The box was intended for Mabon, which is the autumnal equinox, and therefore was focused on protection. Those items included a book on spells and rituals (which I have been voraciously reading), a reiki candle, an evil eye talisman (oh my god, I am so happy), evil eye anointing oil (ahhhhhhh!!!!), incense, and a protection sachet (which I hung up so fast).
A standard subscription box for this one is $39.99 every 45 days (wait, is this a magical number????) and you can cancel any time. But there’s a freaking waiting list because these boxes are super dope, TBH. Hopefully, writing about this can push me to the front of the line hint hint hint hint hint. I’m subtle.
Overall, all of the boxes were wonderful in all their different little ways and my home and life in general definitely feel much more magical. Will I find love immediately now as a result of massaging a candle with glitter? I don’t know, but I’m optimistic. Will these crystals cure the stuffy nose I’ve had for like a week? MAYBE!!!!
All I know is, as someone who has had a lifelong love of magic and positivity and healing, I am a very happy girl. And as with any form of spiritual practice, that’s really the whole point.
Original by: Lane Moore