When a guy on OKCupid wanted to exchange numbers and I suggested email addresses instead and he was like, “I don’t do email.”
When he told me I embarrassed him in front of his friends when I kissed him on the cheek and held his hand.
When he sent me a text message saying, “I just can’t do this.”
When the best compliment he could come up with was “Your eyes are ominous.”
When he made fun of my bike on our second date.
When he kissed me for the first time in the subway station.
When he told me he was taking me to trapeze school for our second date.
When he said he wanted to stay in bed longer to sniff my pillow.
When he messaged me with his phone number and said, “Text me sometime if you want to hang out.”
When he asked if I wanted to come back to his place after he acted like a dick on our second date.
When I found out that the hot British guy who writes me dirty emails lives in Paris AND does not want a relationship right now.
When he squeezed my butt while walking up a flight of stairs and I yelled at him for doing that in public, but secretly was kind of turned on.
When we had an amazing conversation on the first date and then I never heard from him again.
When I’m at Toys In Babeland and I find myself a BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
When the guy I was sleeping with told me he didn’t want to have sex with me anymore because he liked me too much as a person.
When I excused myself to go to the bathroom and my date, who I just met 30 minutes prior, followed me, thinking I wanted to make out.
Whenever the guy I was banging suggested we break out the full-length mirror.
What I was really thinking when my mom asked what I was looking for in a man.
Every time I sat at a bar, waiting for a date to arrive, annoyed that he was late.
When I Get The OKCupid Alert, “Someone Chose You!”
When a guy is 32, but according to his online dating profile, is looking for a woman who isn’t older than 29.