I am a writer. I have been a writer since age eight when I penned a dramatic tale about a girl who gets asked to the prom by the school bully. He turns out to be really nice, and they end up getting married. It was daring, featured some witty dialogue, and suggested an attraction […]
We haven’t always gotten along. There have been some wicked fights over the years, starting in the sixth grade when I didn’t want to wear my ripe-for-teasing plaid shorts to school, or in ninth grade when you insisted a C minus in trig warranted summer school (it didn’t), or that visit during college when I […]
It’s your six-month anniversary and you’re convinced that you couldn’t have found a better guy. He has great morals, knows how to talk about his feelings and showers you with gifts regularly. To celebrate your anniversary, you hold each other close while watching “The Vow” and follow it up with a romantic dinner at your […]
Last summer, I had my first panic attack, and it was induced by children. By the way, I don’t have any kids. During an office baby shower, a female colleague about 15 years my senior reminded me that I was next, since I was married, 27, and only had an estimated 12 percent of my […]
By the age of 16, I had been for multiple MRI’s, a sonogram, an ultrasound and five rounds of allergy testing, diagnosed with epilepsy, rediagnosed with benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, hospitalized for dehydration, broke my wrist then got the chicken pox the following week, had my sinuses irrigated, a begin cyst removed from my skull, my […]
I dated my first boyfriend for about two years. Our relationship started when I was 15. Over the course of those two years, I saw him for … like five days. Total. We were long-distance. We used to write these very, very dramatic love letters to one another. He couldn’t spell, but he clearly conveyed […]
Are you sick of me talking about how I’m back on the market yet? Good. OK, for those of you who didn’t get the memo, I am attempting to start dating again after a long sabbatical. My thing is—and I know this is not the case for everyone—I hate online dating. It’s not my scene. I have […]
Dear guys of the world, I would like to share something top secret: the things you do while on a date are important if you’re hoping to have sex with us at the end of it. Each action falls into one of two categories: 1) Makes our vaginas wet. 2) Makes our lady business as […]
When I started writing personal essays on the internet, I was half embarrassed, half proud. Even though I grew up in a generation that’s supposedly all about oversharing and Facebooking and nonstop blabby social connectedness, I’d still learned that privacy is a virtue, modesty is preferable, and you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry. But I […]
