People Share the Most NSFW Moment They Experienced At Work

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Did you really have to do that here?

One time, as my boss walked by my desk, I had an adult star’s X-rated webpage taking up the entire screen of my computer monitor; he calmly asked me what I was doing. I was partly embarassed, but also wanted to giggle. I explained to him I was doing research on this XXX star for an article, so I went to her website, whose splash page was TOTALLY NSFW. He just said “huh” and walked away.

Something tells me that bosses catching their employees looking at naked ladies at work isn’t uncommon, but there are even more mortifyingly embarrassing stories of being extremely unprofessional at a place of business. These Reddit tales will have you shaking your head.

No Shame

I worked at a restaurant and one of the hostesses would talk about having anal beads in while working and how she came when she walked around the restaurant. (Thehezz24)

Me-ow

Owner’s son at a computer repair shop would use the test bench to look up stupid s***. He got the test bench infected with viruses while looking at cat porn.

No people…. Just cats…. Having sex.

At least he was laughing uncontrollably at it instead of furiously masturbating to it. (]MrEmouse)

This should be a movie

I was the “Spot Kid” at a car dealership when I was 18. Moved cars around on the lot, when we got a “spot”, I’d clean it. spot was one of the salesman sold a car.

I’d also clean up trade-ins and some other vehicles when i got a chance.

We took in one of those big ass conversion vans on a trade. It was left in the back lot. On most slow nights, I’d grab one of the trades that was going to go back out on the lot and clean it. I was putting off cleaning this van for a while. It’s a big ass can and it would take hours. So when I finally decide to clean it, I grab the keys and head to the back of the lot.

Open the door, there’s two of the male salesman going at it on the s***ty pullout bed. While the female sales manager watched from one of the swiveling captains chairs. There was a s*** ton of coke involved. I shut the door and slowly backed away.

Never cleaned that van. The service manager asked why i hadn’t already. Told him that.. let’s say “Jan”, said I didn’t have to, and to ask her. Few days later it gets loaded up and sent to auction. Nothing was mentioned for a few days about what I saw, but it was weird in the sales office when I was around. (Fromhe)

When you gotta go…

Used to work in a porn store. Had to kick someone out for peeing on the floor in a viewing booth. (LordFluffy)

Vive la France

Got walked in on while Eiffel towering a server in the walk in.

Somehow kept my job. (merrp96)

Finger-licking good?

I worked at a KFC. We had a nasty ex stripper that worked there and a horny manager. She wanted to go home early so they agreed that she could if he got to finger pop her asshole. They did it right behind the chicken warming case. I quit about a week later. (reddit222017)

Kingpin

Go for my final job interview at a medium sized company, with the actual CEO (Post I applied for was head of logistics, justifying the caution as I was fresh out of college). Man is a massive guy. Think the Kingpin from Marvel but with fat instead of muscle.

Interview goes well. When I was about to leave, the man asked me to call the secretary. Said woman was gorgeous, but REALLY not my type. I do so and go outside before noticing I forgot my bag (with my wallet and ID inside) in the man’s office.

I go back in and knock, the director say “come in” without asking who it was. I enter to find him pantsless, getting a BJ from the now topless secretary.

I froze and closed my eyes in panic, but he didn’t. He asked casually why I came back, and I manage to respond and utter an apology.

“No need to, buddy. It happens. You can open your eyes and grab it.”

I do so and go take my bag while making sure I didn’t make eye contact with either of them. As I was going back, he called me: “You know Bug, You really were one of the best persons I’ve ever interviewed: polite, professional, and smart. I think you deserve something.” He points at his secretary, still busy with his junk. “Wanna share?”

I thanked him for his proposal, refused, and left. I’m almost happy I wasn’t selected. (Bug-Type-Enthusiast)

The heroine we need

Had a woman I worked with that was pretty vile on a consistent basis (both in hygiene and behavior). She had s*** herself a few times at work and would go around showing people and boasting about her IBS. Would get down on all fours in like cat/cow position to force out farts. Mooning other coworkers. Once blew up the bathroom so bad that the plumbing backed up and apparently the entire bathroom was covered in s*** when someone went to check it out, all while she’s laughing her head off about it. Dug through the feminine waste basket to find a coworkers pregnancy test so she could tell everyone. Would regularly tell stories about her and her husband having anal in the shower and accidentally s***ting all over him. Would bring said husband (who was 6 ft tall and easily 300 lbs) to intimidate and follow around a pregnant coworker for attempting to report her behavior to corporate. Just pretty disgusting in general as a human being. (]ohheytoni)

“We never really grow up.”

Never give a bunch of Delta Force guys access to the Internet (NIPRNET) without filters. The day I saw a black guy’s balls pop out of some chick’s ass while the arguably most lethal soldiers in the world laughed like hyenas was the day I realized we never really grow up. These men have been through training and operations just basically incomprehensible to most people, and here they are splitting their sides over ball popping porn. Lol. Best guys ever. (antishock8)

Laundry List

I wish I would’ve saw this post earlier, but I’ve seen some crazy s*** go down in “professional” office settings.

Disgruntled coworker taking a s*** in the middle of the floor.

COO walking around with a pool noodle like a dick, sticking it in young girls faces.

Female manager giving a coworker a lap dance.

Female manager pulling her top down showing her boobs.

Male manager, that had a legit foot fetish, having hot coworkers come in his office if they were wearing open toed(?) shoes.

VP pulling the top down of a female manager.

But the one that takes the my cakeday (haha) was a gay coworker, telling everyone in a meeting that last night he was giving a blowjob, and the other guys pubes got caught in his braces!

I really liked this guy, but damn if that wasn’t the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced in a work environment. (king-schultz)

Mom n Dad

Walking in on a woman on an antenatal ward (pregnant) having sex with her partner. Noped it out of there pretty quick. (hanewright)

Keep it classy

Was working a wedding (I am a photographer), and I walked around a corner at an outside location to see a bridesmaid 3 feet from me squatting with her dress pulled up pooping and peeing. I was so close to her. I saw everything. The site of it all and her terrified expression still haunt me to this day. (joeltheconner)

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Original by Chewy Boese