- What happens if you allow your partner to dominate your life as a couple?
- You become unhappy and move out.
Living with someone is complicated. Give and take is essential, but both partners need to give and both need to take.
If you feel you need to give every time, then it’s time to get out. If you are always a taker, you should be living alone rather than destroying your lover’s chance of a good life.
Contents
Your Own Space
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You are an individual as well as part of a couple. You need your own space.
People in a healthy relationship have their own interests as well as joint ones. These may be things you do at home or things you do away from your partner with other people. The gender of the people you share an interest with is irrelevant: You are there to exercise your brain, not your sexual organs.
If you or your partner have trust issues, then it’s time to find a new partner. Distrust is never going to go away, and if your partner is a control freak, the sooner you regain control of your own life, the happier you will be.
Your Together Time
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You wake up alongside your life partner in bed. Do you talk? Touch?
You eat at the same table. Do you talk? Touch?
Do your brains engage like cogs in a machine?
Talking and touching are crucial to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Touching is something that many couples never do outside of their love-making. That is a mistake. Just touching your partner’s hand or arm increases your bond and makes you both happier.
If you want your partner to touch you more, then communicate that. Touch the man or woman in your life more often.
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How in tune, how synched are the two of you, mentally, physically, sexually? Being true to yourself means making it clear to your partner what you need.
If you need more mental stimulation, communicate that. If you need more physical activity then reorganize your life, so you get more. If you need more foreplay to achieve sexual satisfaction, communicate that.
If your male partner finishes before you have even started, saying nothing is not being true to yourself. PE is a common problem among men (about 30% of the global male population), but there is a solution for it. According to Promescent, there are desensitizing products such as delay sprays, that are backed by research and proven to be a great solution for extending your love-making time.
“Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.” – Garrison Keillor
Your Social Life
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Do you have a social life? Your mind needs frequent stimulation and no matter how good your relationship, most people need additional social interactions for mental health.
Even without clinical research, most people understand their need for social interactions external to their permanent relationship. Face-to-ace, real-world social contact reduces the chance of you suffering from depression.
Ideally, both partners in a relationship will seek out real-world social contacts. However, even if your partner refuses to socialize, you owe it to your own mental health to pursue activities that involve meeting other people. If your significant other is irrationally jealous, you need to consider your future together because nobody should control your life except you.
In Short
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Only you are responsible for your life, your physical and mental health.
Meaningful mental and physical contact within and without your relationship are essential for your continued good health. Your partner can advise, but only you should control what happens in your life. Being in a healthy relationship means giving and taking: It must never mean subjugating your needs to those of your partner.
Communication is the key. Talk through any issues you have as a couple because no relationship is perfect in every way. If you are not happy in any area of your, whether that is life in bed, socially or physically, only you can do something about it. Couples need to give and take to at least partially synch their needs, but that is different from giving in all the time.
To thine own self be true; always.
