It’s easy to imagine that Hollywood is one giant orgy, but in reality celebrities have to be careful with their sexcapades since their lives are always on blast. Even though he’s like eleventy, Warren Beatty was once quite the heartthrob and in model Léon Bing’s upcoming memoir “Swans and Pistols” she says that even though Beatty came with his girlfriend Julie Christie, he said to her, “If I wasn’t here with someone, we’d be in the upstairs bathroom right now with the door locked and your panties down.” [NYPost] Eek! Douche chills! Thankfully, the constant pap presence still doesn’t stop leading men from laying on the sleaze, so here are some of our favorite pick-up lines.
- Jeremy Piven gets a lot of crap for being a date-rapey sleaze, but he also has some pretty great lines including, “If masturbation is a crime, then I should be on death row.” [PopSugar] I’m not sure how this attracts women besides demonstrating that he has strong wrists, but he allegedly does pretty well for himself.
- The surprisingly sleazy musician/tea shop owner Moby apparently avoids lines all-together by handing out business cards at fiestas that say, “I really, really, really, really…Want to f*** you.” [PopSugar] This shows some ingenuity I think…though knowing the guy probably had to buy a stack of 500 or something is disconcerting.
- Notorious lothario Wilmer Valderrama probably doesn’t need lines since woman already know he’s packing heat, but a source says they heard former Fez say, “Hey, babe, you want to come back to my place with my five bodyguards?” He also reportedly likes to mention that he knows Ashton Kutcher. [Slate] Um…what are the five bodyguards gonna do? Watch? I guess I’d be down with that?
- Zach Braff might be adorable on “Scrubs,” but he might be a jerk in real life. He’s been known to use lines like, “You have a nice bottom” and is rumored to use his plastic surgeon friend to round up “9s and 10s” to sexually harass. [IDontLikeYouInThatWay] So tragic since I was trying to imagine him as the sensitive emo type when I played out fantasies in my head…now it’s ruined.
- John Mayer does really well for himself, considering he’s the prettiest man alive…oh wait. But he got quasi rejected by pop starlet Jessie James (who I’ve never heard of) when he invited her to his apartment with a swarm of girls. Apparently, the other girls starting bailing one-by-one until they were alone but she asked for cab fare and left her digits. Mayer spent the rest of the night sending text messages that said, “Let me tuck you in. I want to see you.” [HollywoodBackWash] I think this Jessie James girl must suck because offering to tuck you in isn’t exactly sleazy…maybe if he’d said ‘I want to tuck into you’ or ‘Your body is a wonderland’ or something?
Original by Amelia McDonell-Parry @xoamelia
