Over on Gawker, a commenter wondered what the opposite of an erection is. And that got me wondering, hey, what is the opposite of an erection called? To clarify, we’re not talking about a flaccid penis here. This is more like: If an erection says, “I have seen something that has given me an erection,” whatever this is says, “I have seen something that makes my penis the opposite of erect.” It’s like a no-boner. Get it? Like a no-brainer! Anyway. Check out our list of the top 10 names you could call the anti-erection if the situation required.

1. Limpy
2. No-No
3. Hidey San
4. Witching Rod
5. Failure to Launch
6. Sleepy Joe
7. Weenis
8. Down Dog
9. Mr. Softy
10. The Decumbentator

Got a better name? Put it in the comments.

Original by Susannah Breslin