After you’ve been dumped it’s pretty easy to think up things that sucked about your ex. Why My Ex Sucks wants you to “condense your bitterness” into three reasons why your ex is the worst and submit them for public enjoyment. Some of the greatest include:
“He had a twisted relationship with his twin sister. He referred to her as ‘his girlfriend.’”
“He was so dumb that at one point he thought I made up both the names ‘Hamlet’ and ‘Shakespeare.’”
“When we broke up and I kicked him out, he proceeded uninstall and steal our toilet.”
All of this makes for loads of amusement, but you know what’s harder, and possibly even more therapeutic in, like, a healthy way, than coming up with three awful things about your ex? Coming up with three ways in which they totally ruled. My ex and I used to play a game called “Look at the things I’ve brought into your life,” in which we’d list random fun stuff we introduced each other to. For example, thanks to me, my ex is now a Democrat, got to go to Carnival in Trinidad, and eats green vegetables with some frequency. I attempt to return the positivity, after the jump…
My ex rules…
1. Because it was his idea to adopt a dog
Lucca may have fallen in love with me first, but it was his idea to even adopt a dog in the first place. I was worried we weren’t ready for the responsibility. He also took on much of the early training, as he took her to work with him for the first year or so of her life. And then when we broke up, I know he wouldn’t have even considered fighting me for ownership.
2. Because he introduced me to the culinary awesomeness that is raw beef
Have you ever had beef carpaccio? You should. After my ex made this for me on one of our earlier dates, I ate it basically every night for, like, a week straight. It was THAT GOOD.
3. Because for a long time he made me feel very loved
And nothing can really invalidate that.
So give it a go, gals. Why does your ex rule?
Original by Amelia McDonell-Parry