It’s best not to play with people’s emotions
All too often people get themselves into friends with benefits relationships only to find out what plenty of other have already realized: they just don’t last. They can’t.
Either you and your FWB will be so passionless about each other that the intimacy seems boring, one of you meets someone you want to date for real, or someone will wind up falling for the other person which drives the “FWB” relationship straight down the tube.
However these specific situations start up, they always come to an end one way or the other. Hopefully for everyone involved, it’s not that dramatic… but usually it is. We’re talking about the ever-irrational topics of love and romance, so it’s pretty common that something small can spiral out into a huge mess — plus, the love isn’t there to keep you together.
See for yourself! These FWBs broke up harder than most serious couples.
I started to feel like a robot. She started to become somewhat demanding to the extent it was always about her. It did not matter what I had going on, she wanted her regularly scheduled healing sessions.
I eventually broke it off because it was very one-sided. I later regretted breaking it off and wish I had dealt with it in another way. She was a hot milf and overall it was a good relationships. But again I started to feel like a robot solely designed to satisfy her needs. (everynametakwn)
My Friend and My Lover
At the end of my senior year of high school and beginning of my freshman year of college I was a mess. I would often go to a friend’s house for parties. She had an older brother, and we both found each other attractive; things escalated quickly from casual flirting to a sexual relationship. I continued having sex with him pretty frequently.
We just didn’t click I guess. Eventually he wanted more. He kept wanting to do “date stuff” like going to dinner and a movie and things like that. We did go out a few times but we just had nothing in common other than being psychically attracted to each other. Anyway, he changed his relationship status to in a relationship and it asked me to approve it and I obviously declined that and we got int a big argument. He accused me of cheating on him with my ex.
I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore because I was trying to avoid that drama and he freaked. Apparently he went on a rage through his house, broke his bedroom door and all kinds of ridiculous stuff. His sister who was one of my best friends called and yelled at me for hurting him. It was a mess. (_beelee)
I tried it once after I got out of a relationship. It didn’t last long. We had dated briefly but then I’d made it clear I didn’t see a relationship but was happy to be FWB.
It started out well enough but I remember going over and being littered with red flags. She had made me an elaborate dinner (that I didn’t know about) and she wanted to talk about ‘us’ pre and post. She asked why it hadn’t gone into a relationship, what had stopped it, what could be fixed. I knew from that point it wasn’t an option. (GotToLoseIt)
My FWB says “friends with benefits” makes her feel cheap, so she keeps calling us boyfriend and girlfriend. I don’t like the sound of that. Whenever I feel too trapped, we break up; it’s a cycle that’s repeated several times over the last couple years. Then I made the unfortunate mistake of lending her money.
I’m so scared of losing the money that I don’t even know how I do or don’t feel about her now– and I won’t– until I have the money back and can look at the situation without having to be concerned about that. She doesn’t know how I feel because I don’t know how I feel– she’s scared of losing me, I’m scared of losing my money, and I’m somewhat miserable, though she claims to be happy “most of the time.” (ethana2
I was FWB with a lesbian last year (I’m male). I started trying to like her when she started admitting to me how much she liked me. We were basically secretly dating until one day I decided to ask her to be my actual girlfriend. It REALLY seemed like that’s what she wanted until she got all insecure about it and started acting psychotic and really mean to me to get out of it.
She went even more crazy when I broke up with her because of it. Then she somehow got me to get back with her and then she dumped me over the summer. She gave good hand jobs though. (godispizza88)
Netflix and Chill No More
After a long day at work, she wanted to just cuddle up on the couch with some wine, a blanket and a movie. She hated doing that alone and I was almost always game to come over to share the blanket and the wine. And eventually, benefits.
Then came a week where she was busy. I ended up checking my phone for text messages and my computer for IM-messages constantly. The second week in, she asked me to meet her after work in a small diner.
She had started a relationship with a guy from work and what we had couldn’t continue, obviously. She repeated several times that she really wanted to make it work. I didn’t say much, just listened. I then offered to hang out just as friends. She smiled, said she’d like that one day, and that she’d call me.
I gave her a hug, went home and tried to feel nothing. She never called of course. She never will, it’s been 10 years. (tauntology)
Long Con String-Along
Mine ended up leading me on for about a year. He was well aware of the emotional toll it was taking on me but continued to do it anyways because he got what he wanted.
I don’t think things like this are meant to really work out in the end. When he finally grew the balls to tell me he just wanted to bang, I cut it all off. But that’s just me. (Bumpkins0)
A girl that I dated my freshman year had the idea to fool around whenever we weren’t in a relationship. It always led to one or the other getting too attached, and when one of us did end up in a relationship, it really hurt the single one. Ended up, we’re not really good friends anymore, but we don’t actively avoid one another.
I advise against it completely, for both emotional and relational health. (2ManyToots)
Ruining the Friendship
It went on/off for about 28 years. At times I thought I loved her, I know she loved me. The relationship ebbed and flowed between FWB and spending all our time together. Each time we got close to “serious” it would bottom out and we wouldn’t talk for months or years. The last time I saw her was a few years ago and we don’t keep in touch anymore.
There were some epic times I’ll never forget, but in the end, the lack of (real) relationship killed our (causal) relationship. (bestinside)
The Other Man
Her and I lived like four houses apart with a park just a block away, that almost nobody ever went to but her and I so we started talking more and more every time we saw each other, then one thing led to another. And by another I mean a relationship that was pretty much just “Hey wanna come over?” texts and like nothing else in terms of stuff that isn’t sex. I would’ve loved to start a relationship with her until one particular day:
(Like 2 minutes post-sex, at her house like always) “You’ve gotta go, I totally forgot my boyfriend was coming over”
And that’s when I stopped talking to her. (Acrylic_)
Tinder Loving Care
We met on Tinder. Said she was in law school and just wanted casual sex because school was so stressful. Was awesome for about four months, then blew up in my face.
She ended up crashing at my place for like five days while she was having some roommate issues. I asked how long it would be, because we went from “casual” to sorta living together after previously never doing anything besides sharing a meal and sex for the most part. She flipped out on me, said it shouldn’t be a big deal her staying there for so long since we’re “just friends and not dating.”
She left, but showed up outside my apartment drunk twice. I didn’t let her in the second time because she ended up screaming at me and threatening to break stuff the first time I let her in. (Joe434)
Losing Your Friend
He caught feels and when I decided to enter into a relationship with someone else when I felt ready he just became distant and sour.
In my defense, I didn’t realize he had feelings for me that were stronger than friends, as he never communicated and I just didn’t see any signs until a few months later when I read our messages again. Losing him hurt for a while and I regret being FWB with him. (becorcur)
A Near Entrapment
Knew her for 16 years, friends in high school, but went to different universities.
Reconnect, and both going through drought so we decide to have FWB. Lay out ground rules/boundaries and agree.
Six months later, she tells me she’s pregnant. Refuses tests, makes life miserable for three months until I determine she was lying. She eventually admits to lying, claiming she thought a baby would make me love her back, something she never even hinted at before. (4nonymo)
Bragging About Pain
We were pretty simple; not exclusive and agreed to each other that we’d meet up as long as nobody gets hurt.
But he turned into an a**hole after a few months and bragged at 6 a.m. to me how great this party was he was at. That he made out with a girl and a guy and how extremely jealous the girl was afterwards. I called him out on that; I highlighted that I was glad he had a nice night, but I didn’t approve of him enjoying giving that girl bad feelings. He didn’t stop bragging, so I called it off. (princess-in-disguise)
Ended well initially. I moved, which we knew was going to happen. Stayed in touch as friends and then were invited to a mutual friends’ location wedding. We went but I said before the trip I just wanted to go as friends. Apparently he read that as FWB not JUST friends so it became as less than friendly ending. (msjensing)
Did you have a nasty break up with your friend with benefits? Tell us how it went down in the comments and SHARE this story!
Original by Emily Hingle