Though there may not be as much pressure on the best man as there is on the maid of honor, there is more involved than just planning the bachelor party. After all, the groom asked you to be the best man because he trusts you and thinks that the wedding will be better with you as his wingman.
When done correctly, the position of best man can go beyond just the guy that does the toast at the reception. You can elevate it by being an indispensable part of the machine that is a wedding. Your buddy’s big day can be pressure-filled and nerve-wracking. If you want to be the best best man ever, you can make it go much smoother for the groom.
Here are some tips on how to be a better best man.
Take care of the groomsmen
The groomsmen are sort of like the groom’s band of brothers. You’re all in his crazy adventure together right up to the end of the reception and maybe even beyond. There is no better way to reinforce this bond than to have some personalized gifts. Those gifts can range from inscribed whiskey glasses, cufflinks, or even pocket knives.
Don’t try to have all of this done yourself. You’re going to be busy with loads of other things. Instead, order from a company that specializes in putting these items together. Groomsshop is one place that can get the job done and where you don’t even have to worry about it.
Plan the bachelor party
This is probably the most fun part of being a best man. Coming up with the bachelor party is your time to shine for your buddy. The key to a good bachelor party is to understand what the groom actually wants. However, you don’t have to do the typical strip joint or casino bachelor party. There are lots of ways to send your friend off in style, so make sure your idea and his personality match well.
If your buddy is not a big drinker or doesn’t like loud parties, then a trip to a cabin in the woods with a few select friends is a good idea.
Maybe a city break weekend to a dining destination if your friend is a big foodie. Touring some wineries is also a good idea.
In the event that your friend wants to really let loose and go for the whole Vegas thing, then make sure that you are the guy responsible. Yes, you want to have a good time, too. But you have to keep yourself even-keeled enough to keep everybody out of trouble and ensure that the bills get paid.
Yes, you are there to have fun, but you don’t want to overshadow the festivities. It is not about you that day, it’s all about the bride and groom. If you get too drunk and need to be taken care of yourself, then you’ve shirked your responsibilities as the best man.
Pace yourself with the booze and drink plenty of water to keep yourself from getting out of hand.
The bride’s side is going to handle a lot of the details about the pre ceremony, actual ceremony and post ceremony, but there are going to be some loose ends that you will need to attend to.
Make sure you get a checklist made of all the things you need to be focused on.
Some items that you might be responsible for are:
- Keeping the groom and groomsmen organized and on time the day of the wedding
- Making sure all the groomsmen are dressed appropriately and groomed
- Holding onto the rings until the ceremony
- Giving the officiant’s fee, if any
- Take care of the groom’s clothes after he changes post ceremony
There will certainly be more than just those things to take care of. Make sure you are communicating clearly with everybody responsible for planning and keep a detailed spreadsheet.
Talk to the bride to be
You may be working as your buddy’s wingman, but asking the bride for some tips on what you can do to help will increase your political capital.
Chances are pretty good that she has a long list of to do’s and if you can take a few items off of the list she will be grateful. This will give you and the groom a little bit of wiggle room to do your own thing at some point later down the line.
She might ask you to make sure that you mingle during the reception to make sure everybody is having a good time. Ask the guests if there is anything you can do for them, or put out some fires in case there are some issues that need to be resolved. These are things any bride will appreciate, so make sure your communication is open with her as much as possible.
Make the perfect speech
This is the pressure point for any best man. How to make the speech that sums up the couple. It should be something to make the guests feel blessed to know the couple and to have been invited to such a wonderful occasion. It should be inspiring and memorable. However, some speeches are memorable for the wrong reasons. Make sure you don’t wing it and have a speech prepared well before the wedding.
Just remember that you are in a privileged position and do everything you can to help and not be a distraction. It is going to be a lot of work and probably a few dollars out of your own pocket to make sure that things go smoothly. Think about how much time and money you have to devote to this before accepting the role. Although, saying no is probably not an option.
Even if it ends up being a lot of work, it will be very rewarding to play a big role in the day that will change your friend’s life forever.