I’ve talked about my often-disastrous relationships in a number of my columns, and every time I do, I get dozens of messages from people asking me to elaborate. Not that I’m an expert — it’s more like how you see a guy come screaming out of the woods covered in bees and you ask him where he found […]
I love weddings. I stop dead before store windows to gaze at gorgeous dresses and drool over diamond rings. I’m thrilled when I happen upon a noisy banquet in a Chinese restaurant. I read the New York Times wedding announcements every Sunday. I love watching “Say Yes to the Dress.” But I don’t want to […]
One of the things I’ve learned, over my many years of roadtripping in and across Texas, is that hell is being stuck going 50 miles per hour behind a recreational vehicle. But recently, I’ve come to wonder if heaven might be being behind the wheel of one. I don’t generally dream about buying big-ticket things […]
Was your wedding not sexy enough? Did your nuptials not properly convey how utterly hot and sensual your relationship really is? Then maybe you should invest in some “morning after” wedding photography. Taken hours or days after a couple gets married, this new exhibitionist trend is aimed at showing how spicy new marriage can be. […]
Perhaps I am just a bitter shrew, but this 27-minute proposal video — in which actor/director Justin Baldoni doesn’t ask Emily Foxler to be his wife until the very end — just did not do it for me. It has everything: Candles! Lip-syncing to the Backstreet Boys and Boyz II Men! A flashmob dancing to Bruno […]
I’ve never had a wedding. I’ve never planned a wedding. I’ve never even helped plan a wedding. But, as a 30-something, I’ve been attending weddings regularly for the last decade and I think it’s time for me tell about-to-tie-the-knot couples the truth: the things your guests care about (open bar! music!) and the details you’re stressing over (favors! […]
I remember climbing into Patrick’s pick-up truck in a fog of glittering sparklers. I remember noting that there was a giant penis shoe-polished on to the passenger side window. I remember taking an Instagram of us driving the few blocks back to our hotel. I remember being very excited about getting my shoes off. And […]
Looking back on my wedding planning, I realize how many of my decisions were to make other people happy. My day was special and I felt like the star of the show, but I had to make sure that I stayed in budget so my dad wouldn’t have an aneurysm, that the menu wouldn’t trigger any […]
Last night, my husband (!) Patrick and I were having Hawaiian martinis at Roy’s Waikoloa Bar & Grill (which is to Hawaii the way Chili’s is to Texas) when he asked me, Was it all worth it? Was all the stress and the arguing and the pressure worth it, to have a wedding instead of sneaking down to […]
