The first time I met my friend Jeff, I told him his hair was amazing. It was a thick, effortlessly tousled blond mane that anyone would envy. “That’s because I stopped washing it two years ago,” he told me. That got me thinking, and researching. So in January, I did an experiment and stopped washing my […]
What do you feel about going topless?” he asked me over the phone. I hesitantly replied, “Well, I guess I’m okay with it. But will they be able to touch my boobs?” There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. “Yes, but you’ll never have to do anything more. I promise.” […]
About 20 weeks ago, I decided to train to do the Seattle Marathon. Sunday was the Seattle Marathon. When I woke up at 5am I told my partner Julianne “It’s going to be a long day.” I was not wrong. I’ve been training for the last 20 weeks, 370 training miles in all, for an 8.5 […]
In private, my husband, Paul*, has started referring to his sexual orientation as “Results-Oriented.” As in, he doesn’t care what gender his sexual partners are if they can get the job done, so to speak. He’s being glib when he says that — no, he wouldn’t go to bed with just anyone — but there’s […]
“Your orgasm is your problem,” my ex-husband once said to me. I frowned at his suggestion and two days later, some books appeared on my night table: I Love Female Orgasm and The Elusive Orgasm. I resentfully cracked one open and it seemed like a lot of trite stuff about the importance of relaxation. I […]
Here’s something I kept private for a good long time: I was, once upon a time, jane_doe_eyed and RexyRockit on Reddit, and specifically on Reddit’s GoneWild subforum. Ta-da! Hello. You can see a lot of my skin on the Internet. Someone reading this might have pictures of me cached on their hard drive. Nice to […]
I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year’s contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a […]
Here’s something I kept private for a good long time: I was, once upon a time, jane_doe_eyed and RexyRockit on Reddit, and specifically on Reddit’s GoneWild subforum. Ta-da! Hello. You can see a lot of my skin on the Internet. Someone reading this might have pictures of me cached on their hard drive. Nice to […]
I was 10 when I fell in love at first sight with Elijah Wood. I was visiting my aunt and uncle in Atlanta, GA. My aunt got a movie starring him for us to watch because “it’s about two 10-year olds.” That movie was Paradise, a sad jam about Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson struggling […]
