Being able to talk about sex with your partner is one of the basic parameters in any successful relationship. This shows how comfortable you are with each other – something that is common in all strong and long relationships. Without this open communication, a relationship can be in distress. These days people find it easier to talk to someone online rather than their partner face to face. Sex may be a life affirming action but people find it quite hard to talk about it. Talking about sex with your partner can be good for your mental health and physical health as well.
Intimate conversations can help a couple in connecting at a deeper level. This brings emotional closeness in a relationship. Here are a few steps on starting a conversation about sex with your partner.
Source: Glamour
Contents
How to start
The first and foremost thing is to NOT assume that your partner will start the conversation. Think that they are probably as ambivalent as you. Practice the conversation in your mind before actually going through with it. So, how and where do you start? It is a good idea to start talks about sex early on in the relationship. But if you haven’t done it yet, that is fine, it is never too late to start. There could be some initial awkwardness, but once you have initiated it, it will take its natural course. You may want to establish trust with easier sex topics like consent and then move on to other areas, such as desires, fantasies or fetishes.
Goal of the conversation
When you are talking, ensure that you remember what you want to accomplish from this. It is often easy to get carried away in conversations and forget your goal. The ultimate goal is to feel close to your partner, so you both are comfortable talking about sex. You may want to learn something intimate about your partner, share fantasies or explore sexual acts together. For all of this to happen, you will have to have a conversation, heart to heart, without judgment. Don’t give up on intimacy and try to start the conversation. Something short and heartfelt can make both of you feel emotionally close and act as a starting point.
Source: besthealthmag
Being clear
Try to be specific with your feelings, as clear as you can be. Have not been feeling as close lately? You used to spend time together in the kitchen cooking, but is that not happening lately? Small, mundane tasks done together can also bring couples closer. It is a shared time, the time to talk to each other about everything and anything. Talk about what is pricking your brain and heart at the moment, so you can clear that. Talking in circles may not really help, so if it means getting straight to the point, then so be it.
Positivity
Focus on positive things and use more of “I” rather than “you”. A “you” would mean that you are transferring the blame on your partner. “You don’t do this,” doesn’t sound good, but “I wish you would do this,” is slightly better. It doesn’t sound like an accusation as much. Be nice to your partner and start with something positive. A positive comment before a serious topic of discussion, which may be unexpected or unwelcome, can make things better.
Source: Men’s Health
Listen and ask
One of the greatest barriers in communication is listening. It is when people don’t listen, that miscommunication happens. Communication isn’t just about talking, it is about listening, so you can ask the right questions. Partners may be concerned about avoiding hurt, so they think about what to answer, rather than listen and then answer. But in order to effectively talk about sensitive topics, which may include sex and sexual acts, listening becomes a super important habit.
Know yourself
Be clear about what you want and the things you want to talk about. If you don’t know yourself, then a conversation would be useless. Identify your sexual style and if it differs from your partner, then it is definitely a topic of discussion. You could be lusty and tender at the same time and please your partner equally well. If you need some inspiration on how to initiate sex talk, check out erotica website like eroticastory.ca.
Being in a successful relationship does involve quite a bit of sex talk and not just the sex act. But if you need some ideas about it, here are a few things you can talk about in relation to sex.
Source: Instagram-dm
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Your fantasies
Think of what your fantasies are and if you would like to share them, action them with your partner. Fantasies are often things a person will not do in real life and that is why they are fantasies. But indulging in them can make a person happier. If you indulge in fantasies with your partner, whether it’s your fantasy or theirs, the fact you two are doing it together will bring you closer. If either of your fantasies are made to come true you will connect more deeply.
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Deterrents to good sex
If you are not satisfied with your sex life, then you must talk about it. You may love a person and yet not feel sexually satisfied. If this is the case, then you must have a conversation with your partner. You must talk about why you aren’t able to achieve satisfaction with each other and the steps you can take to overcome it. For example, a man may be chasing his orgasm and not really think about his partner, until he comes. This means the partner will not be satisfied. So, you must plan the sex acts in such a way that you both get pleasure.
Source: Wizaz
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Sexual issues
A couple may be having sexual issues, such as failure to cum or ejaculate. Some women may feel pain while having penetrative sex and thus, the enjoyment may not be as great. If the woman doesn’t tell her partner, then he will never know that something is causing discomfort to her. That is why communication is so essential between two partners.
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Desires
Share your desires so you can get greater pleasure during sex. Each person has a different take on sex and experiences it differently. It is not possible that your partner will always know what you want at each time. This applies especially if you are in a new relationship. In such times, you must discuss what turns you on and if you want to try something new with your partner.
