Dry Spell? Then You Know What This Is Like…

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So. Thirsty.

In 2019, I went through a very long dry spell (about nine months). Apart of side-effects from medications, my bits were closed for business. Because of that, I stopped dating. I stopped touching myself as well. I Googled things like: “Can you become asexual?” I became frustrated with my body because I was getting even lonelier than I truly was because no gentlemen callers were paying me a visit. (Why would they want to if the skin on skin action would just be me star-fishing?)

The point here is: Whether it’s voluntary or involuntary, many people go through dry spells. From weeks to months to years, here’s what happens to your mind and body when you don’t get laid for awhile.

Pent Up Energy

Feeling frisky and frustrated? Put that energy to good use! Your apartment will be sparkling, you’ll finish two books a week, and you’ll finally have time to knit or crochet every single friend you have their own throw blanket.

No? You don’t want to do any of that? There are other options. You can go the gym and get swoll!

(Me personally, I’m lazy and gyms are my kryptonite.)

Questioning

It’s fun when your friends ask if you’ve been on any dates lately. It’s even more fun when they reply “why not?” to your answer.

Here are some good replies for you to whip out on ‘em:

“My genitals are dead.”
“I don’t want to settle like you did.”
“Do you really need to ask that question?”
“I’m overqualified!”

Money!

By crying into your bowl of Kraft mac and cheese dinner every night in front of the television, you’ll be saving a lot of money. Not going to bars, restaurants, and other things that are considered “fun” by society, lets your coins stay safely nestled in the bank.

I don’t wanna!

Now… One of the benefits of getting off is the hormones in your brain that gets released when you orgasm. That natural high promotes creativity, makes you more relaxed, and can even make you more social.

You can still get the benefits if you masturbate to climax. However, if you are like me and don’t get the orgasms anymore, you just remain on edge, like a cat near water.

You can always visit a psychiatrist for medication to lower your anxiety. Just don’t lower your standards and settle for bad sex just to have sex. That’s a no-no.

OPP

You might feel like you want to scream “I DON’T GIVE AF!” to your friends who are complaining about their dating lives. Yes, the green-eyed monster can come out, so you’ll be constantly cranky, but more so around couples.

On the flip side, if you’ve done a lot of self-reflecting during your dry spell, you may be able to give your friends some great advice. Just don’t read any Steve Harvey dating books.

I have. Just don’t.

Best Friends!

You may feel guilty afterwards, but you’ll low-key be happy to hear about someone else’s breakup. When your best friend’s significat other dumps them that means you now have a single friend to do single friend stuff… like heavily drink. You’ll be able to do it in bars and stuff now though.

Go out on the prowl, even if it’s for shiggles.

Me?!

For real: If you’re not having sex, your self-esteem may drop. Not having some one to look nice for or give you compliments may take an emotional toll.

Of course, everyone in a dry spell asks themselves, “What’s wrong with me?” Then, you start to overthink your flaws, physical and personality-wise.

Staaaaaaahp! Get all fancy for a dinner with a friend. Flirt with someone you aren’t even interested. I believe this is called “using them.”

Spoons

One solution is to cuddle with a friend. A platonic one, of course. Have your BFF come over for Netflix and Unchill. Just having that physical closeness to another human being will make you feel a lot better.

I like to ask friends for random hugs, not just during greetings and partings. Plus, most of my friends smell nice, so that also helps.

You can read more at Cosmo and Bustle.

SHARE this with your single friends.

Original by Chewy Boese