So. Thirsty.
In 2019, I went through a very long dry spell (about nine months). Apart of side-effects from medications, my bits were closed for business. Because of that, I stopped dating. I stopped touching myself as well. I Googled things like: āCan you become asexual?ā I became frustrated with my body because I was getting even lonelier than I truly was because no gentlemen callers were paying me a visit. (Why would they want to if the skin on skin action would just be me star-fishing?)
The point here is: Whether itās voluntary or involuntary, many people go through dry spells. From weeks to months to years, hereās what happens to your mind and body when you donāt get laid for awhile.
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Credit: Oleg Golovnev/Shutterstock
Pent Up Energy
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Credit: gpointstudio/Shutterstock
Feeling frisky and frustrated? Put that energy to good use! Your apartment will be sparkling, youāll finish two books a week, and youāll finally have time to knit or crochet every single friend you have their own throw blanket.
No? You donāt want to do any of that? There are other options. You can go the gym and get swoll!
(MeĀ personally, Iām lazy and gyms are my kryptonite.)
Questioning
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Credit: marcogarrincha/Shutterstock
Itās fun when your friends ask if youāve been on any dates lately. Itās even more fun when they reply āwhy not?ā to your answer.
Here are some good replies for you to whip out on āem:
āMy genitals are dead.ā
āI donāt want to settle like you did.ā
āDo you really need to ask that question?ā
āIām overqualified!ā
Money!
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Credit: Rrraum/Shutterstock
By crying into your bowl of Kraft mac and cheese dinner every night in front of the television, youāll be saving a lot of money. Not going to bars, restaurants, and other things that are considered āfunā by society, lets your coins stay safely nestled in the bank.
I donāt wanna!
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Credit: RZ Images/Shutterstock
Nowā¦ One of the benefits of getting off is the hormones in your brain that gets released when you orgasm. ThatĀ natural highĀ promotes creativity, makes you more relaxed, and can even make you more social.
You can still get the benefits if you masturbate to climax. However, if you are like me and donāt get the orgasms anymore, you just remain on edge, like a cat near water.
You can always visit a psychiatrist for medication to lower your anxiety. Just donāt lower your standards and settle for bad sex just to have sex. Thatās a no-no.
OPP
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Credit: Dean Drobot/Shutterstock
You might feel like you want to scream āI DONāT GIVE AF!ā to your friends who are complaining about their dating lives. Yes, the green-eyed monster can come out, so youāll be constantly cranky, but more so around couples.
On the flip side, if youāve done a lot of self-reflecting during your dry spell, you may be able to give your friends some great advice. Just donāt read any Steve Harvey dating books.
I have. Just donāt.
Best Friends!
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Credit: Shutterstock
You may feel guilty afterwards, but youāll low-key be happy to hear about someone elseās breakup. When your best friendās significat other dumps them that means you now have a single friend to do single friend stuffā¦ like heavily drink. Youāll be able to do it in bars and stuff now though.
Go out on the prowl, even if itās for shiggles.
Me?!
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Credit: andrey_l/Shutterstock
For real: If youāre not having sex, your self-esteem may drop. Not having some one to look nice for or give you compliments may take an emotional toll.
Of course, everyone in a dry spell asks themselves, āWhatās wrong with me?ā Then, you start to overthink your flaws, physical and personality-wise.
Staaaaaaahp! Get all fancy for a dinner with a friend. Flirt with someone you arenāt even interested. I believe this is called āusing them.ā
Spoons
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Source: Shutterstock
One solution is to cuddle with a friend. A platonic one, of course. Have your BFF come over for Netflix and Unchill. Just having that physical closeness to another human being will make you feelĀ a lotĀ better.
I like to ask friends for random hugs, not just during greetings and partings. Plus, most of my friends smell nice, so that also helps.
You can read more atĀ CosmoĀ andĀ Bustle.
SHAREĀ this with your single friends.
Original by Chewy Boese