I recently met David through my blog. He was charming, witty and funny. After a bit of friendly Twirting (flirting via Twitter, the equivalent of computer footsie), he said he thought I was pretty funny too and even admitted to being a bit intimidated when I told him how strong my physical disability, Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome, […]
When I was in my late 20s, I had a crush on a guy I worked with. He was tall and preppy, and looked like he’d stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. Every Monday morning I’d skip down the aisle, lean on the wall of his cubicle, and ask him how his weekend was, […]
I heard about Pinterest at a wedding reception last year and within 24 hours, I was hooked. I had to pin everything: I grabbed every vegan recipe, organizing tip, cute outfit, inspirational quote, and makeup tutorial I could get my freshly ombre-manicured fingers on. Then, a few months later, I got engaged and suddenly it […]
When I was in sixth grade, my boyfriend told me he didn’t care that I was fat. He loved me anyway, just as I was. It was something along the lines of, “Tom and all those guys say you’re really big, but it doesn’t matter to me.” And instead of hearing the part about his […]
My mother and I were standing in the Atlantic Ocean with water up to our knees. “Remember when I caught you masturbating, Chloe?” she asked. “No! When?” “When you were five.” “I wasn’t five, mom.” “Four.” “I wasn’t four, mom!” “Yes. Yes, you were. You were on the couch in the living room on your […]
I first heard the word “labiaplasty” three years ago. Immediately, my interest was piqued. My unruly butterfly wings — otherwise known as my labia — interfered with my sexual activities. Riding a bike for more than 15 minutes? Painful. Camel toe? Obvious. Intercourse? Lube did little to relieve all that smooshing, pulling, stretching, especially when […]
I texted him as soon as I woke up. “What do you want me to wear today?” I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back. “White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo.” I dressed […]
I’ve accomplished a few really great things in my life — losing 100 pounds, getting sober‚ but I’m not sure anything has been as personally satisfying as the day that I had a Missed Connection posted about me. If you’re not familiar, Missed Connections is the section on Craigslist where dudes post about hot girls […]
I stiffen as I enter the party, taking it all in. Moms (not MILFS) mill around in pastel lingerie. Nude men pass by, penises bobbing beneath their beer bellies. A DJ to my left plays Kid Rock’s “Cowboy.” On the spiral staircase, someone’s legs spread in the air and a man stands, humping between them […]
