I have an ongoing joke with two of my close friends, about a Tumblr we’re going to create called “I’m Disappointed in You.” It will include a variety of things people — most of whom we thought knew better — have done which lowered them in our esteem. Examples will include deliberately racist comments, fat […]
In college, I was part of a tight-knit group of young women. There were five of us in the core group. Two were roommates and their room, 513, was our central meeting place. There was a lack of formality when it came to hanging out. It was totally normal to walk right in if the […]
At the exact time that I’m writing this (8:30 a.m. ), on this exact day two years ago, I was reporting my rape. It had happened after midnight on March 10, 2013. I’ve been trying not to write about it too much, anymore, because I feel like I’ve said everything I need to say about […]
I woke up one morning last week to my Twitter in an uproar. That’s reasonably common in my world, as many of the people I follow are marginalized and there’s a lot to be angry about. Turns out that the FBI has seized MyRedbook, a California site where masseuses and escorts could advertise for clients […]
Today I’m going to fulfill a promise I made quite a while ago, and talk about what a consent culture would look like. A consent culture is one in which the prevailing narrative of sex — in fact, of human interaction — is centered around mutual consent. It is a culture with an abhorrence of forcing anyone […]
A study has found that in situations of sexual aggression at bars, most attackers are very clear on the fact that their victims are not consenting. The results made obvious what so many already know: despite claims of misperception, in most cases it is very clear that the attacker’s advances are unwanted by victims. Many attackers purposely seek out […]
Do you buy his excuse? Most people who have an identical twin as a partner can tell the two the two apart. (Heck, I became friends with two identical twins when I was a kid and could even tell them apart on the phone.) While identical twins are… identical, they can have unique mannerisms or […]
Last weekend, I stood on the subway platform, thumbing through a magazine and grumbling about how the next train wouldn’t arrive for another 11 minutes. As I waited, more and more feet descended the stairs. Two pairs caught my attention — one was manicured with bright red polish and strapped into a sky high silver […]
My son turns six next week, and among all the other wishes I have for him, I have a silent hope that won’t be shared at his birthday party. It’s one that swims in the depths of my mind, surfacing occasionally when awful things happen that force me to think about it: I wish and […]
