My main goal for self-improvement this year is simply to be kinder to myself. I’ve realized that my stringent standards, constant self-criticism, and inability to say “no” have done nothing but suck the life out of me. Lately, I’ve been too exhausted to do anything at all. And I know that’s not good. I don’t […]
After a slew of flings that consisted of more games than the World Cup, I was practically in heaven when I met Jake – an intelligent, successful, Southern gentleman who eerily resembled New York Mets heartthrob David Wright. His pornographic recitation didn’t stop. Every move, every nibble, every touch, was accompanied by a kinky sentiment. It […]
I am the only woman in NYC who has never gotten waxed. This is a fact. If someone collected statistics, the numbers would definitely confirm it. You could say I’m a bit of a wild woman. My hair is unpredictable, my nail polish is usually mostly chipped off, I can’t do a pantsuit to save […]
Hi! I’m looking for the perfect outfit to show off a little side boob… I know that sounds kind of scandalous but being small up top its something I think I could get away with. I’d prefer a dress but would be open to the idea of a romper. My only request is that it […]
Breaking news in the world of snake detection. And no, I’m not talking about trouser snakes. I’m talking about actual snakes. Those slithery things that can kill you, either because you are freaked out to the point of cardiac arrest or because they are poisonous. Those things. A new study found that women are better […]
Do you remember laying flat on your bed, eyes gushing like Old Faithful, unsightly snot dripping down way too close to your open mouth? This is you after your dog died. This is you after a break up. This is you after failing to assemble an Ikea chair. This image comes frighteningly close to what […]
My acne-ridden youth (okay, fine, it was like 20 zits total) engrained in me that chocolate was a pimple-flaring, oil-producing skincare devil to be avoided at all costs. In my more recent, better-skinned years I’ve turned to the dark, 80% cocoa variety to cure me of late-afternoon nap compulsion and early-morning sugar cravings, but I […]
Hey, guys. I hope you’re having a lovely Friday. We’ve got to have a little chat about something. There’s no nice way to say this: We need to talk to you about your man bun. Have you considered that the quality of your man bun is perhaps impacting your fuckability? We think you should. Long […]
Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed at the thought of how much I want to accomplish in a given day or week, or how much growing stands between me and whatever distant, self-actualized ideal I hope to someday be. On days when I wake up cranky, thinking about stuff like this creates a snowball effect and suddenly […]
