This morning, I woke up, and I thought, what do I need out of life? And then I got on the internet, and, lo’ and behold, there it was. I need a jockstrap maid, IMMEDIATELY. Honestly, my place could use a cleaning, and I can’t imagine a better candidate to do it than some hot […]
Did you guys see this crazy picture of rabid Miami Heat fan Filomena “Phyllis” Tobias flipping off Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah? It’s pretty crazy, right? Well not nearly as crazy as Phyllis’s back story. See, in 2008, she was accused of murdering her husband. Family members of her husband, Seth Tobias, believe that he […]
At age 37, while working as an incest writer and researcher, Meredith Maran accused her father of molesting her. Based on a combination of “symptoms” like depression and guilt and disturbing incest dreams, the accusation would ignite an estrangement that kept her children from spending time with their grandfather for the next eight years. Ten […]
I was 10 when “Showgirls” strutted into theaters, tits perked, bedazzled and bewigged. And because I watched “Saved By the Bell” on occasion and had caught wind of Elizabeth Berkley’s proto-Miley turn to the naughty, I was curious — especially because kid Rachel wasn’t sure what “naughty” meant outside the context of elementary school discipline. […]
I was out of town when the final installment in “The Hobbit” film trilogy was released, which is good, because watching it all by myself in 3-D IMAX in an empty theater was probably for the best given just how often I yelled out “Oh my god, I think I just came.” Which maybe seems […]
Indiana Representative Jud McMillin, a rising star in the Republican party, has resigned after accidentally sending a video of himself having sex with a woman who was not his wife to his entire contacts list! Awkward. After the video was sent, McMillan texted all recipients back with a message stating: “My phone was stolen in […]
Daylight Savings Time is over, which means that night comes at 4 PM these days, which in turn means that 500,000 Americans will be sinking under our blankets and into our seasonal affective disorder soon. We will also be engaging in the ritual of indulging our completely unnecessary, sun-affected sadness by playing sad, sad songs […]
So, here’s just one more reason to love Instagram: If you’re not a fan of it going down in the DM with random creeps, the popular social media platform’s got your back. Instagram has a “secret inbox” where messages from people you don’t follow get filtered to. You’ll receive no notification about receiving these messages, which explains […]
I’ve never been able to get behind dolls that perform bodily functions, but I especially cannot understand why you would want one that does so animatronically. After the jump, check out an ad for a boy baby doll that will pee in your dad’s face — but only after you feed him and make him […]
