Hi. I just met your boyfriend. He’s a goatsack, but I don’t blame him. Doucheberries are born, not made. However, I judge you, because you’re supposed to be smarter than this. If the girlfriend of a friend of mine is a soulless sorority monster with vodka gills, I usually think “she must lick a mean […]
Yesterday, I broke down for dudes why gals won’t have sex with them, even if we totally had a hot successful date. But what if you don’t even get the chance to play coy? Nothing is more perplexing than a guy not trying to put the moves on you when you’re clearly interested in him. […]
When it comes to sex, women talk too much and men talk too little. Actually, let me revise that. Women talk too much about sex with one another, and men talk about sex with one another just enough, which is to say, hardly at all. While my gender may have the occasional communication skills of […]
I have a fair number of female friends, and sometimes dating is hard as a result. I’m not Casanova—I write on the internet for a living, for Christ’s sake—but my girlfriends often get jealous of my girl-gendered friends. They think that if I’m hanging out with a female friend, I’m probably having sex with them. […]
Today, Glamour blogger Shallon Lester brings to our attention a widespread problem plaguing our menfolk: guys seem to really dig crazy chicks. Yes Shallon, I have noticed this, too. But in the post, she gives only a few half-hearted explanations: “Personally, I think guys secretly like the drama. Maybe it makes them feel alive or […]
I went on a date the other week with a pair of hot Swedish volleyball players with galactic hoots and bodies so taut that quarters bounce off bellies. These buxom hotties could easily have graced the pages of Brodawg Magazine, posing in the rain, wearing only leather belts. As they were putting on their heels […]
Let’s talk for a minute about the “friendzone.” Don’t worry, fellas, this isn’t a lecture. It’s an advice column, because there is something you deserve to know: There is a very simple, nigh-foolproof way to avoid ending up in the situation that that exceptionally loaded word describes. And I will tell you what it is. […]
Many women aren’t aware that just as there are emotional stages of acceptance of death, there are emotional stages of acceptance of sex. When men lose their virginity, they experience a remarkably similar set of emotions. Here’s a look at the various stages that men go through when losing their virginity, drawing on my own […]
My lady friend asked me if I thought it was “absurd” to want to be monogamous with someone and I immediately told her that I did not think it was absurd. It’s absurd to want to be monogamous with a rhinoceros or a pineapple. Especially pineapples, because they are the sluttiest fruit. But I do […]
