When food has replaced sex in your relationship, it’s pretty much over. If you’re a month or so into a relationship and you both find yourself face-planting bowls of pasta on a Friday night instead of giving yourselves reason to clean your sheets on Saturday morning, something is not right. Favorite foods are not a […]
As I see it, there should be no discussion of a relationship, or exclusivity, within the first three months of dating. Those three months should be a drama and ultimatum-free zone. No jealousy or commitment. Just a period of savoring; the gritty, totally worth it hard work can come later. Save it, potentially, for the […]
Guys often forget relationship anniversaries, according to every bad comedian’s jokes since about 1965, and various magazines and TV shows since then. It can seem inconsiderate on the surface, and men get a lot of heat for not taking relationship anniversaries seriously. We’ve got a pretty good excuse to cover for our mistakes: we don’t […]
Lately I’ve been kind of getting in touch with my kinkier side. Being that I didn’t really have a kinky side before, it’s a big deal for me that I’ve discovered the pleasures of, uh, ass-smacking. Now that it’s kind of my “thing,” I’ve been thinking about other people I know and their “things.” I […]
Men do a lot of thinking before sex. Mainly, they think about how to get sex, what to eat in order to have the proper energy for sex, and how to have better sex. Our thinking during sex is much less complex. During passionate sex, the conscious mind of a man is pretty much obsessed […]
Women don’t clamor for guys with ripped six packs. Am I wrong? We’re talking about those toned, well-defined abdominal muscles that grace the covers of magazines for hairless men who drink liquid protein. Clean pants, yes. Dandruff-free hair, definitely. I know for certain ladies appreciate a healthy dude, or at least, a dude who doesn’t […]
If a hood is good enough for Batman, it’s good enough for my penis. Uncircumcised joints look gross, like a cross between a tentacle and a trunk. But the word on the street is that it feels better to have a foreskin. My zipper cudgel is cut, and therefore less sensitive than a man who’s […]
I feel really sorry for the guys who read Men’s Health and get all sorts of bad advice … usually in the form of “insightful” articles written by women. I can only imagine these ladies must have been dumped hard-core — maybe in a text message or at their mother’s funeral or something — to […]
It has recently come to my attention that there are ladies out there who think that their man drooling over pornography is tantamount to adultery. If you truly believe this, you should either dump him ASAP, with extreme prejudice, or accept that you’re going to have to live with his mistress. Dudes watch porn. You […]
