Unless one of you moved to the other side of the planet (or died), chances are, you will, at some point in time, cross paths with someone who broke your heart. Then, as if seeing him in the flesh weren’t unpleasant enough, there’s always a chance that he won’t be alone. But maybe you were […]
Your passive-aggressive aunt bought you a Match.com subscription for Christmas. While your first impulse was to hit her with a brick, you’ve always been curious about online dating. “What the heck?” you figure. “I’ll write an ad and take a look around.” But when you’re on your own in virtual reality, the search for computer-generated […]
Second only to his inexplicable ardor for overhead lighting, my boyfriend Spyro’s extreme loathing for travel is probably our number-one topic of, uh, discussion. I love to travel and I’m not picky—I’ll go pretty much anywhere my credit cards can afford to take me. Once I decide where I’m going, I carefully research the best […]
The first time I met my now-close friend Gina, she was rhapsodizing about her awesome boyfriend, Eugene. After a few minutes, I realized I’d already met him. But he wasn’t the sweetheart she was describing. I was familiar with Eugene because the weekend before he had propositioned me in a particularly crude manner. I realized […]
A gaggle of girlfriends and I were sitting around drinking beer and bitching about our crappy love lives one late night when my buddy Marguerite shared something a wise relative had once told her: “The three most dangerous words a woman can say are ‘He has potential.’” Maybe I’m not very bright, but that stopped […]
A couple months ago, after returning from a vacation in Puerto Rico, I noticed a little mole on my left ankle. I didn’t even realize it was a mole at first, because I don’t really have any others—I thought it was a shaving cut. But when it didn’t go away after a week or so, […]
At a long-ago birthday party, my cartoonist friend Peter gave me a framed piece of his artwork. As he handed it over, he said, “This is for you, so no matter what happens with him, it’s yours.” At the time I thought it was weird. After all, my boyfriend and I were never ever going […]
Remember when you were a kid and you couldn’t wait to get older? Whether it was a driver’s license, an ID that let you drink legally, or your own grown-up apartment, being older just seemed so much more glamorous. So mature. Then at some point all the good parts about aging start to fall to the […]
As a wise man once told me, there’s not much a woman can do to make herself completely unappealing to every guy at a bar. After all, a bar contains all the essential elements to romance—booze, dim lighting, and the sweet, sweet smell of desperation. However, as difficult as it is to come off as […]
